another lisa

Summer Vacation

2006-07-16T00:16:00.000-04:00

Today we went to a bar-b-q at a co-worker's home out in a rural area east of Ottawa. It was exciting getting there, as it suddenly started pouring. It has been so hot here (33 degrees celsius) for a few days that you could see steam when the rain hit the ground. With the wipers going full tilt, we could not see a foot in front of the car, and wondered if we would see a tornado.

Otherwise, we had a great time - it dried up for about two hours - and the kids got to trampoline, swim, play all kinds of games, and we got to relax, talk and eat lots of great food.

Tomorrow morning we have to get up early to leave for our friend's cottage. Everyone is very excited about going there - it's on an island and the travel includes a boat ride. It will be a great place to be with the heat wave continuing for the next few days.

2006-07-12T23:40:00.000-04:00

If anyone is wondering why I am not around much... it is mostly because my business is going so well. I counted how many files I have to work on the other day - there are at least 45 open files! I was really surprised to learn this but it does explain why I am totally exhausted all of the time. When I get home I usually want to just lie down and rest, let alone make dinner.

The good news is that we are getting away on Sunday for three days at a friend's cottage. The boys are coming, including Owen, Oliver and my dad. We may allow their friends to come too. Dorothy is going to stay home with the animals, while Zoe is going to her dads for more pampering.

The weather forecast is looking wonderful from Friday to Sunday - I hope it can last until Monday!

Poor Zoe

2006-07-12T23:29:00.000-04:00

Dorothy and Sarah got their wisdom teeth out when they were 19 which apparently is the average age for this to happen. Poor Zoe, with her 16th birthday next week, had to go through it much sooner than they did.

Today was Zoe's appointment to get her wisdom teeth out, so I took the day off, and will stay home tomorrow too. She has been throwing up most of the afternoon, and dealing with the pain as the freezing went away. I felt sorry for her as I tried to make her more comfortable and give her cold things to drink and eat.

I was around the same age when I got mine out around the same age (the summer after grade 9). We lived in a very small town - Trenton, Ontario - and I had been having ear aches for about two years - finally the dentist figured out that it was my wisdom teeth causing the problem. The next step was sorting out where I would get them taken out, as back then, they didn't do it as a day surgery - at least, they didn't in my town. This would have been about 1978.

So my mom made arrangements for me to travel to the big city of Toronto where I could stay with her Aunt Violet - and from there, I went into a hospital for about two days to get the surgery. I remember being the "baby" at the hospital, compared to the other older, cooler 18-20 year olds getting it done the same day. There was one really cute boy who ended up really getting swelling, while I didn't get much at all.

Anyway, I guess it's just one of those growing up things most of us have to go through. Meanwhile, we ran out to the store tonight to stock up on cold things such as: ice cream, pudding, apple sauce, juice, pop and canned peaches. I also got other "soft" stuff such as: alpha ghetti, eggs (for scrambled eggs), noodles, instant mashed potatoes and stuff to make milk shakes.

Just call me grandma...

2006-07-06T00:25:00.000-04:00

Announcing... the new arrivals!

Max, Dal, Iggy and Maggie.
Born on July 1st, in time for Canada Day!

3 boys and 1 girl... we have created a puppy palace in our bedroom so they are close by for the first two weeks.

Pictures to come soon.

Mother is doing well and recovering most excellently.

2006-06-27T23:42:00.000-04:00

I heard about this on the Colbert Report... and HAD to look it up. The Top 50 Conservative Rock Songs. Check it out!

Camping Fun

2006-06-25T11:07:00.000-04:00

On the one hand:

- mosquitos and wasps
- icky water not really good for swimming (lots of weeds and slime)
- canoe rental was not operating so no canoeing
- we forgot to bring lots of things, including a grater and chairs
- there were 2 "new" girls and 3 "new" boys (think about it)

On the other hand:
- camp fires late into the night with guitar enhanced sing alongs
- smores and other wonderful camp food
- bonding with friends, old and new

Overall a good time was had by all. I think the highlight for me was meeting Richard's wife, Carole, as we have a lot in common.

Poor Oliver, he tried so hard to impress the 14 year old pair of girls, including climibing a tree, challenging the other boys to wrestling and telling lame jokes... but they did not find him desirable at all, instead preferring the two boys named Eric. Maybe now he will start showering and brushing his hair.

2006-06-23T00:28:00.000-04:00

Oliver and I are going camping with our youth group this weekend. This is our end of the year retreat.Tonight he went shopping with another youth advisor for the groceries, while I bbq'd the chicken for fahitas for tomorrow night's meal after we get the tents set up. Then we found the tent, the coolers and other stuff we might want to take with us.

Tomorrow I have to go to court in the morning, and then attend a memorial service in the afternoon. Afterwards, I will go pick up my dad's van, then pick up various youth and get stuff from my place. We are camping in a local campgrounds on the Rideau River, not too far away so it won't take long to get there.

It is calling for great weather... sunny, warm and no rain. (Knock on wood)

Have a great weekend!

We Love Origami

2006-06-20T20:57:00.000-04:00

Owen, Zoe, Dorothy and I did some origami last night. Like, balloons, cups, boats, fish and birds... then we looked at an interesting web site that has origami.

Isn't this amazing? We are in awe. Origami is a true art.

2006-06-15T20:57:00.000-04:00

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you.Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks.Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

What Color Green Are You?

What is behind the window?

2006-06-15T20:27:00.000-04:00

I saw this picture on Terri's website. I think it is very interesting - kind of mysterious. I find myself wondering who or what I might see if I look inside the window.

Terri is always taking loads of interesting pictures of places in Libya, where she lives.

Puppy Information

2006-06-15T20:24:00.000-04:00

Suki, our cocker spaniel, is getting noticeably fat, which is ok, since we are pretty certain that she is expecting puppies. Her due date is in about two weeks and we are making preparations for the new arrivals. It will be perfect timing, as the kids are off school in about one week so can help to look after them.

The father, Oscar, is a miniature poodle and is as gentle and sweet as the mother. We are sure that the pups will have excellent temperaments and it will be interesting to see what they look like.

I am educating everyone around here about the special needs of a pregnant dog, including diet, exercise and what to expect when she is in labour.

update

2006-06-13T21:54:00.000-04:00

We had a great weekend away with our friends David and Margaret. Although it was very cold (ie. we wore at least three layers at all times) the company and great food made it all worthwhile.

We saw Ospreys in their huge nest - flying around, catching fish and defending against any nearby invaders. As well we saw a huge heron fly by, and some loons. While walking around the island, I also saw deer prints.

It looks like I may be going on a camping trip two weekends from now with the youth group. We are just getting it organized and have to see if we have enough adults to go. I may just be a driver and daytime supervisor.

Weekend Getaway...

2006-06-09T22:59:00.000-04:00

Eric and I are going to our friends' cottage. It is on an island, very relaxing and isolated. We leave tomorrow morning and will come back on Sunday. The worst part is that the weather is calling for rain and cold temperatures. But I don't mind. We can read, light a fire, play cards, eat good food and share nice company with our friends. It is ok if we can't go swimming, boating or walking because of the weather. I am really looking forward to getting away for a day.

long day

2006-06-09T22:42:00.000-04:00

What a day!

7:30 - get up, get Owen going...tell him to eat breakfast while I get ready...
8 am - Owen is not ready to go to school! He hasn't even eaten breakfast... so I take Oliver to some special leadership program he is going to in the west end and return to the house to get Owen at 8:20
8:30 - take Owen to school - he is only 15 minutes late... could be worse
8:40 - stop at the office to drop off files that I took home to work on last night
8:54 - leave the office for a meeting with another lawyer at 9 am
9:11 - arrive at the meeting - just slightly late
10:15 - meeting finishes early, head back to office
10:30 - work on immigration file submissions, affidavit for motion next week, consent order for the morning meeting file
10:45 - student volunteer arrives - she works on two letters and one bill - faxing them out later on when they are ready
10:55 - call Family court to ask about two court appearances next week re: scheduling
11:45 - new client shows up who had an appointment yesterday - what to do? we don't have time for this today! I decide to give her a few minutes, which turns into over an hour long meeting
12:30 - meet with Robin to discuss this new case - decide to ask the woman to collect evidence of her claims - we make a plan to meet again next week
12:45 - realize that photocopy/printer is down - fix it guy is in office taking the whole thing apart!
1 pm - receive emergency call from client - police involved in situation (ack!)
1:20 - 2 pm appointment shows up early - this is for a transfer of a home between ex-spouses
2:45 pm - write two wills quickly for people leaving the country at 4 pm!
3:10 pm - receive phone call from Court to reschedule Monday's appearance to Tuesday, as Judge is sick - get answers about my scheduling questions
3:14 pm - another Court staff calls to return my call!
3:20 pm - talk to new client on phone - make an appointment for next week.
3:30 pm - finally see 3 pm appointment to go over crisis and response to current situation
4:05 - speak to client from early morning meeting about consent order - hurray! she agrees.
6 pm - speak to client whose case has been moved from Monday to Tuesday
6:10 pm - finish the summary of arrears for early morning file, and fax it as well as draft consent order to other lawyer for feedback
6:45 pm - finally go home - pick up Dorothy, head to the store to get some things for dinner.

There were many things that I forgot to do today. Blah. Tomorrow is another day.

Death Visits

2006-06-08T22:38:00.000-04:00

I heard about the deaths of two women this past week. The first was June, the almost lifelong companion of my Great Aunt Violet in Toronto. Her name was June and as long as I can remember, she lived with my Aunt. I never did meet my Aunt's husband (he had died I think). Violet died about a year or more ago after several years of decline with Alzheimers. Violet was my mom's favorite Aunt - and they were in touch several times each week. My mom would visit her in Toronto at least once every year, although this became difficult once my mom's own health deteriorated in recent years. Even when Violet didn't recognize my mom anymore, she was comforted by her phone calls. Once Violet was gone, my mom kept in touch with June. June was very lonely without Violet - and Violet's family was not kind to June. Although Violet wanted to leave everything in her apartment to June, apparently this did not happen, and June died alone, lonely and very impoverished. I believe they were both close to 90 when they died.

The second death that I heard about was my long-time friend's mother, whom I will call "Betty". This woman was also over 90 and not in great health. She was surrounded by a good sized family who made sure she was well cared for. In fact, when she moved into a seniors facility last fall, it was the nicest one in town. Her obituary was beautiful, describing her friends, her history, her grandchildren and other family members and what she meant to them. She lived a rich, full life. Interestingly, I had just redone her will for her a few months ago, so this will be my first estate case that I work on.

What I noticed the most is how differently our seniors can be treated by family, friends and society.

Shiloh

2006-06-08T22:18:00.000-04:00

How could I miss this news? Apparently Angelina and Brad had their daughter ten days ago!! Her name is Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. What an interesting name. "Shiloh" can mean a reference to the Messiah, and Nouvel means "new". Imagination yet not too weird.

They sold the first pictures for 4 million to People magazine, but apparently are giving the money to children's charities. If true, good for them.

Camp Hope in Ottawa

2006-06-07T08:24:00.000-04:00

Many people at my church are involved in ongoing activism surrounding the detention of suspected terrorists. There are many men being held without bail, without their lawyers or themselves being able to get disclosure about the evidence against them.

There is a huge protest all week as the Supreme Court of Canada hears their cases. There is a lot more information here. Check it out - it will open your eyes to how Canada is abusing suspects and their families - violating their rights to a fair and speedy trial.

Toronto: Canada's Heck

2006-06-07T00:55:00.000-04:00

Sorry Todd, I wasn't trying to insult anyone who lives in Toronto. Yes, it is a much nicer place than many American cities. But how many other Canadian cities and towns have you been to? For example, Ottawa is amazing, as is Vancouver and Montreal. And they are just as diverse and have great transit!

One of the reasons I choose not to live in Toronto is that it is just too damn big and crowded. With way too many cars (and traffic), and pollution. We have the exact same diversity here in Ottawa on probably a one quarter scale (our pop. is about 1 million). I used to work for the School Board, and we had over 100 different cultures represented in the school that I worked in. In fact, I am very happy that my children are attending schools where diversity is celebrated and encouraged.

I think what this Toronto terrorist news has brought back to me is the huge change in NYC since 9/11. I was there in May of 2001 with two of my daughers and we had a wonderful time. We felt totally safe, even late at night.

I have since been back last summer and this past spring. On every subway we say army guys with machine guns - they were in every building too. I can't believe people live like this. That living in a police state has become normalized. Thus my comment that I wouldn't want to raise a child in Toronto, as I am worried that it will become like NYC in the very near future.

I would not want a child to be raised in a place where it is normal to carry a gun to feel safe, or to have the police on every block so that the people feel safe from gangs or terrorists.

That scene in Bowling for Columbine where Michael Moore walked into Canadian homes in Toronto is so REAL for most people I know. Canadians don't all lock their doors, as they feel safe.

As I commented on your site - I totally agree with your comments about the war in Iraq/Afghanistan - and I don't trust Stephen Harper at all. You are probably right - perhaps this whole thing is just a way to get Canadians to accept more invasion of privacy and letting go of our freedom of expression, as well as permitting detention without trials, etc. for so-called terrorist suspects.

As our grandparents probably said... "the world is going to hell in a hand basket". Whatever a "handbasket" is...???

2006-06-05T23:19:00.000-04:00

This is the God of my lawn. All who gather here, walk gently and do not disturb the power of the God.

Toronto, Canada's Hell

2006-06-05T23:14:00.000-04:00

Wow. I can't believe what's on the news about a terrorist group in Toronto. All the anti-terrorism stuff that has been going on for five years has seemed so surreal. It is just crazy. Not in Canada.

Toronto has been going to hell for a while now. There are tons of guns and violence there - just like any American city. Blech. I would never want to raise a child there. Maybe we do need to throw some people out.

If only people could just be nice.

Mexican Chicken Soup

2006-06-01T18:24:00.000-04:00

My mother got this recipe while she was visiting my sister in California. I have had it twice at her place and it was delicious! It is easy to make in a slow cooker.

Layer the following in your slow cooker:
4- 6 medium sized chicken breasts, cut into pieces.
1 sweet potato chopped
1 large sweet yellow onion (Vidalia or other)
3 cans (14 oz)
3 cans chicken broth
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon oregano
(Cook in slow cooker for 5 hours on high)

Then add:
1 dark green pepper chopped
1 small bag of frozen corn
(Cook another 30 minutes)

Serve into bowls with:
handful of grated sharp cheddar cheese
corn tortilla chips (stick into the bowl!)
sprinkle of fresh cilantro
Some people also like sour cream!

The answer to the quiz...

2006-05-30T21:23:00.000-04:00

Remember when I asked what a rectal thermometer and vomit have in common? Holley was pretty good at her guess - it is dog related. We are pretty sure that Suki is expecting puppies! One of the symptoms is morning sickness - and she has it!

If we are correct, her due date is around July 1st - Canada Day!

These puppies would be cockapoos - she is a pure cocker spaniel, and the father is a pure miniature poodle. What I am most interested to know is what colour they might be. Although Suki is black and gray (some would call her colouring "merle"), and Oscar is pure black, both of them had a white parent, so they both have a recessive white gene. Perhaps one puppy might be white.

We shall see.

More visitors!

2006-05-30T21:18:00.000-04:00

Last night, my friend Charlene, her mother, and her two daughters (age 8 and 10) arrived from a long drive across the US and Canada. We met on the first day of law school and we have been friends ever since. When we met we were both single moms and we had quite a bit in common. She has spent the last year in Arizona, getting her Masters in Law.

Now she is trying to find a job, and she got an interview in Montreal for today. Thus, her two daughters spent the day with Owen and I, joining us for lunch at Megan's house and then swimming at the JCC. Then we went to the daycare, as the girls went to the same daycare as Owen, so they wanted to see their old friends. That went well and now everyone is just relaxing and getting out of the heat.

We are having a heat wave. It reached about 32 degrees celsius today with a serious humidex of about 40 - which would be equivalent to 90-100 degrees f. (I think) This is not normal in May or early June. Before this, we had two weeks of almost solid rain so you should see the garden growing - it's like a tropical rain forest around here! I don't know if this is part of climate change, but it's pretty nice to have such warm weather for a change.

Parental Dilemmas

2006-05-30T20:41:00.000-04:00

Over the weekend we had a young man visiting us from Rochester, New York. I met this guy in NYC when I was there for 5 days in April for a conference. I liked him so much I invited him to visit sometime and he took me up on the invitation. He is over 18, so I had no problem letting him stay at our home while he was visiting youth he knew in Ottawa. Although I am a youth advisor at our church I invited him outside of that role.

A problem developed when the girl that he most interested in (who is 17) asked if she could sleep over at our place. I told her that I was ok with it if she got permission from her parents. When her mother found out that her daughter wanted to sleep over, she said she was not comfortable with this. I said fine. But it was not fine, as the girl was upset about it (and so was the mother). I talked to the girl and told her that she should respect her mother's wishes - and that in another year or two she would be out on her own and able to make all of her own decisions.

Then on Sunday, her mother approached me at church and expressed her concern about the situation. It was awkward, as she thought I should have taken her side in expressing to her daughter that it was inappropriate for her to sleep over with a boy at my place. I tried to explain that in my role as youth advisor, it was not appropriate for me to take her side or have any say about discipline between her and her mother. We are supposed to be mentors, adult friends etc., not authority figures.

During the conversation, I kept trying to say "I know it's hard..." and she kept interrupting me, saying "It is NOT hard. I find it very easy to be clear about my values and expectations". What I was trying to say was "I know it is hard (difficult) as a parent to allow our young adult children to grow up, make decisions for themselves (often what we see as wrong decisions), and make mistakes (and thus learn from them)." I also wanted to say that I know from my own experience as a parent that often it is difficult to trust our children to administrate their own lives. But I do believe that we have to have faith in them, give them all the moral support we can and send them out into the world.

I also know from experience that if a youth (or young adult) is going to choose to have sex, drink alcohol, smoke or use drugs, they can do it at any time of day, in any place they choose, and that having a curfew is not going to make them any safer or keep them from doing any of the above.

I choose to educate my children as much as I can, which may include giving them information, resources and also give them a safe space to try new things. So, yes, my children have been allowed to taste alcohol in their teen years, and by age 17, I would allow them to have one drink with dinner with our family if they want to try it. As well, I will allow a boyfriend to sleep over in our home... mind you, my kids are extremely well educated about their sexual health - and I know that because of this, so far, my two oldest daughters did not choose to have sex until they were at least 19. In fact, neither of them had a serious boyfriend until they were over 18. Now perhaps this is just random luck on our part, but I do have faith in my kids' wisdom.

I wish more parents did.

Love is in the Air

2006-05-25T01:08:00.000-04:00

Sarah has been seeing a guy named Evan for the past two months. It is a classic whirlwind romance and they seem to be head over heels. The only problem is that he is supposed to be leaving in September to attend school at a college in Pembroke. She is soooo happy these days, but suddenly thinks about the fall and is in tears. It's sometimes very hard to be young and in love. It just feels so much. She even confessed to me that she is considering moving to Pembroke with him. (I told her she would be nuts to do that, as Pembroke is a tiny town with nothing to do... but hey, it's your life).

Amelia's nice boyfriend Rob has gotten his own apartment so she is never home anymore. We are ok with this as long as she is attending and passing school. She is turning 19 in a few weeks and is almost able to graduate.

The race is on to see whose kid will move out (even temporarily) first. My money is on Amelia.

Volunteer Hours

2006-05-25T01:05:00.000-04:00

Ontario has a requirement that all high school students must perform 40 hours of "community service" in order to graduate.

Some kids, who shall remain nameless, think this means that if you go and volunteer somewhere (ie. work for no pay), like, in a restaurant bussing tables, and get free meals, that it meets the requirement.

Other kids, like Zoe, have decided to research available opportunities in the community. She has decided to volunteer at a Seniors Nursing Home in our neighbourhood. We went for her interview last week and now she has to get a TB test and a Police Check done so she can volunteer there. She will probably work in the cafe and/or help with special activities.

Way to go Zoe!

Quiz

2006-05-25T01:03:00.000-04:00

What do a rectal thermometer and dog puke have in common? Come on, take a guess...

List of the Week

2006-05-25T00:48:00.000-04:00

Again, the week is rushing past... what is going on?

Crap dealt with this week:
- responded to problems with Owen's school (wrote a long letter, made an appointment)
- interest relief application for student loans sent in, reviewed and accepted (yay!)
- set up daycare subsidy review meeting (sigh)
- found Zoe's birth certificate so she can: renew her health card (which expires when you turn 16), apply for a social insurance number (needed to work in Canada), and get a Police check done for her volunteering application
- pulled out hundreds of dandelions (enough to fill three large garbage cans - we have municipal composting here)
- finally got the gul-dern brand new lawnmower to work long enough to cut the front and back; it already needs it again
- cleaned up dog puke
- bought Owen clothing: 2 pairs of pants, 2 shorts, underwear (we realized on the weekend that he didn't have any pants without huge holes)

Crap to deal with:
- make Zoe doctor's appointment for TB test (another volunteer requirement)
- take Zoe to police station for police check
- dig more dandelions from lawn, pull out dozens of baby trees
- go with Eric to sort out cell phones (his is dead - considering family plan)
- move bed downstairs into extra bedroom for youth visiting from Rochester this weekend (make bed)
- clean house a bit???
- get more groceries
- buy a rectal thermometer (more later on this)
- knit something

Work stuff to do:
- send out doctors letters for ODSP files
- get stuff ready for 10, counte em, 10 court appearances in the next two weeks... ack!
- billing, so people pay their bills, so I can pay the darn rent for May
- pay poor Dan for website work
- send student to courthouse to file documents (yes, I now have a wonderful student working for me)
- finish immigration application for clients
- finish four separation agreements
- prepare legal documents for child protection court appearance
- go to the bank

Fun stuff planned:
- bbq on Friday with Ruth and Dennis
- Great Glebe Garage Sale on Saturday with mom
- youth group on Sunday with new young members invited
- see Davinci Code (maybe Sat. nite) with Eric and Dorothy
- bottle of wine
- dogs for long walk
- friend from law school visiting for a few days next week

Little bits of news

2006-05-17T23:02:00.000-04:00

Did I mention that I cut my hair? Then I got my sister Melanie to fix it. It looks ok now but is very short. Sorry... no pics yet. I am still trying to find some recent pics to post of the kids. I am not very organized.

I have been knitting. I have made a shawl for myself for the cold winters. Now I am knitting another shawl/blanket type thing for my mom. It is in her favorite colours - maybe I will give it to her for her birthday in September.

Dorothy is crocheting like crazy. She is making several projects, including a huge poncho thing that is gorgeous. She is very patient.

Also, I gave in to my deep urge and booked us several nights camping at Sandbanks, the most beautiful place on earth. Even though last year we were drowned out.

Lawn grows to deadly heights...

2006-05-17T23:01:00.000-04:00

Last weekend we bought a new lawnmower. Unfortunately it did not come assembled. Poor Eric spent hours putting it together. It did not work. Andrew came over yesterday and "fixed" it. Apparently now it works, so I will have to actually cut the lawn. Darn.

Jarking with Youth

2006-05-17T22:56:00.000-04:00

This past weekend our church hosted a huge youth conference. We had youth and their youth advisors visiting from all over Ontario, Quebec and New York State, in total about 130 people. What a lot of fun! The theme of the event was "Jark Around the World", with the idea being that everyone was going on a flight around the world together.

The food was great - we visited France for crepes, India for samosas and bajis, and Mexico for tacos and chili. The workshops were great: participants could learn how to belly dance, have English tea, do origami and lots of other neat choices.

During Saturday afternoon, there were field trips all over Ottawa to check things out. Too bad it was raining all weekend!

I stayed at the church until 2:30 am both Friday and Saturday night - mostly cleaning the kitchen over and over. But it was alot of fun.

There was a worship service both nights well after midnight, and a coffee house for several hours on Saturday night. It was a great chance for youth to meet other like-minded youth and to relax. As you can imagine, I slept most of Sunday!

I can't believe its May...

2006-05-08T13:14:00.000-04:00

Hi there. Teri pointed out that I hadn't been posting much... this is so true. There are two reasons for this. One is that I started my own business last fall and it has gotten really busy. Generally this is a good thing! Eventually I will make enough money to pay my student loans!

But I find myself falling behind in many areas of my life - most especially the housework! I don't get to see my family and friends enough, I don't have enough time for my volunteer commitments. Blah. So I guess I have had to make the choice that my online community will suffer. I just wanted you to know that I haven't seen my "real life" friends much either. Actually, last night we finally went to a friend's place for a bbq, and we realized that we haven't gotten together since January. These are people we used to see monthly. It's not just us, their lives have gotten busier too.

This will not do. I need to find a balance. I have taken some actions to relocate the priorities of my life. For example, I am trying to take Tuesdays off to spend time with my homeschooling friends with Owen. We visit, have lunch, go swimming. We have been doing this for over three years, but during the winter, I wasn't making it alot of the time as I would have court appearances on Tuesdays. I am trying hard to avoid Tuesday court dates!

I also am making sure that my dad is invited over every weekend for dinner and games. As well I am trying to see my mom at least once a month for lunch or other activity, even if it's just doing errands or going to a doctor's appointment with her. I always enjoy these activities.

How do you find balance in this crazy life? How do you protect time for yourself, your kids, your partner, your friends etc.? I am looking for suggestions.

Having a Sense of Humour

2006-05-05T11:19:00.000-04:00

We have been watching a lot of Jon Stuart in the Daily Show, as well as the Colbert Report. What a scream! My daughters told me about it. It is an interesting show, in that I find many North Americans don't actually understand satire. It is fun to watch the guests that Colbert has on his show - as he plays the role of a conservative host.

At a recent anti-war protest, this protester summed it up well.

After all, if you can't have a sense of humour about the horrible things going on in the world, you may as well just give up on life.

2006-04-28T21:55:00.000-04:00

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:
You have medium extroversion.You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."
Conscientiousness:
You have medium conscientiousness.You're generally good at balancing work and play.When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.
Agreeableness:
You have high agreeableness.You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.
Neuroticism:
You have low neuroticism.You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.
Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is high.In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Plans for the weekend

2006-04-28T21:30:00.000-04:00

Dorothy and I are going yarn shopping tomorrow... I have the urge to knit something. I don't know what yet. I am hoping to get inspired. This will give me something to do when we are at Owen's swimming lessons.

We are also going to get the BBQ going - with Dad's assistance on Sunday afternoon. It should be pretty sunny... reasonably good weather (18 degrees Celsius which is probably around 66 farenheit).

I hope to take the dogs to Bruce Pit again... we will see if we can fit it in.

Think twice

2006-04-28T21:29:00.000-04:00

So I had this crazy urge to cut my hair tonight... so now it's really short - and I'm not sure if it's ok in the back... what was I thinking??? AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Oliver!

2006-04-23T00:07:00.000-04:00

This weekend, Zoe and Owen are performing in "Oliver!" the Dickens tale of an orphan who runs away to London to seek his fortune.

Zoe plays one of the lead roles, Fagin, while Owen is playing a Fagin's boy named Tommy.

We are goint to see their big final show tomorrow!

Weekly events

2006-04-23T00:04:00.000-04:00

It is hard to remember this past week. I have been working a lot, trying to catch up. I had a big court appearance on Friday that I was preparing for. After a huge amount of work and negotiaton, we reached a settlement (at least a partial one) right before the hearing. I felt good, as this case has been really nasty, and dragging on far too long.

Friday night we went to Ruth's for the first bbq of the season. She did potatos and pork chops - they were soooo yummy. Then we watched "Desk Set" an old movie with Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn. It was a hoot.

Tonight we went to a fundraising dinner for St. Mary's Home, the place that I volunteer for. It was fun and a good meal was offered at the Lone Star Cafe.

Easter Weekend

2006-04-22T23:54:00.000-04:00

We had a very busy Easter weekend. In Canada, schools are closed for Good Friday and Easter Monday, so we get a 4 day long weekend. Banks are closed too, but some stores are opened. On Good Friday, I went to the office for a while (even though we were closed) to try to catch up on some files. In the evening we went to my sister Melanie's for a visit.

On Saturday, I spent several hours cleaning up the front yard. We have beautiful purple crocuses and violets blooming! I had to clear away tons of leaves from the fall. I am one of those people who covers the perrenials with leaves to protect them from our harsh winters. I raked for hours, then Dorothy came and helped drag bins of leaves away to a compost pile. I also trimmed several bushes. The front is looking pretty good now - and the tulips are about to bloom. If only I could get that enthusiastic about the back yard. Last year it was a disaster. In the evening, we went to visit our friends Margaret and David. We played cards and had a great time.

On Sunday, we had a bunch of younger folk over: Dorothy, Sarah, her boyfriend Evan, Amelia, her boyfriend Rob, and Phil, my younger brother who is 22. Rob made crepes and we had tons of fresh fruit with vanilla ice cream. Delicious! (No we didn't make it to church)

In the evening, Dorothy, Sarah, Zoe and I went to my mom's for dinner and a movie. We finally got her to watch Rent. I have seen it many times now, and I still love it. She had to admit it was a great production, and not as sad as she thought it might be.

Monday morning, my dad called and told us that Jennifer's dad had passed away while visiting from out of town over the weekend. How terribly sad. Apparently he was only in his fifties. (Jennifer is my sister-in-law, Dan's wife). We haven't heard any other news since Monday about this, but assumed the funeral was this weekend in Brantford.

It was pretty good weather all weekend, and we took the dogs out to Bruce Pit, a local nature area that is "dog friendly" (you can let your dogs run) with dozens of trails through the woods. We went twice and really enjoyed it. Later on Monday, most of the kids were home for dinner, and we had a big roast beef dinner, just because there were enough of us to bother.

Babies in the River

2006-04-16T16:34:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful thriving community that had a sparkling clean river flowing beside it. This community was full of good people who always wanted to be kind, caring and help each other through hard times.

One day, a girl was walking her dog by the river, and she saw a strange object floating at the edge of the river. She used a stick to pull it over to her, and realized that it was a basket. She pulled the basket out of the river, opened the lid, and saw a tiny baby in the basket. Very surprised, she took it home to her parents, and they decided to take it to the town hall, to find out what they should do with the baby.

An emergency meeting was held, and the city elders discussed what to do with this baby. They remembered one young couple who had lost their baby to illness last year, and decided to offer the baby to this couple. The couple were thrilled to take this baby into their home and everyone knew it would have a good home there.

A few days later, a fisherman was out on the river, and he came across another basket. He got a hold of the basket, and sure enough, it had another baby in it. He brought the baby to shore and took it to the town hall. Another emergency meeting was held, and this time, an elderly couple whose children had grown up offered to take in the baby, and all was well.

The very next day, a woman was out in her kayak on the river and she found yet another baby in a basket floating down the river. She took the baby down to the town hall and again, the town elders had a discussion and decided to take applications for the adoption of this baby.

By this time, the elders were getting worried that this problem was becoming a regular occurence, so they decided they had better form a committee to study the problem of babies in baskets on the river. Over the next few weeks, an average of one baby per day came down the river and the townspeople learned how to effectively and efficiently deal with them.

This committee deliberated, and made recommendations that several regular committees be established, including an emergency response team, a fundraising committee, a baby clothing committee, a family screening committee, a naming ceremony committee, a nursery school committee, an oversight committee, and of course, an executive committee to oversee all of the committees. There was also an elaborate alarm system, which everyone knew how to use, so that when a baby was found in the river, an alarm would sound, which would summon everyone to their positions.

One day, someone found a basket, and this time there was a set of twins in the basket. They sounded the alarm, and everyone in town rushed to their assigned committee in order to deal with the new arrivals.

One young woman decided she had had enough. She packed a bag, and headed out of town. Several townspeople stopped her and said "what are you doing?" We need you to help deal with the new babies! You can't just leave."

The young woman looked at her friends and said "I am going up river to find out who keeps putting babies in the river and I am going to get them to stop."

Home Again...

2006-04-16T16:27:00.000-04:00

So, seven of us went to NYC to participate in a conference at the United Nations. We learned about international and local poverty issues, and ways to address them at both the intervention and prevention levels.

It was a long day getting down there (and back)... with a two hour drive to Montreal, then a ten hour train ride. The train was nice though - and we could walk around, lie down, eat, or play cards in the dining car.

We met lots of nice people - there were about 200 participants in the conference - of all ages, including a large group from Vancouver. I got to go to one Broadway show on my night off, and I saw "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" - it was hilarious. And I got to take a group of youth to the Museum of Natural History - just amazing place, really - with the biggest dinosaurs I have ever seen. I have got to take Owen there one day.

The conference itself was very informative and emotionally draining. One of the most interesting workshops was about the homeless youth in Manhattan. About half of the homeless youth are from the GLBT community (they are over-represented proportionally) and the estimates are that there are about 30,000 of these youth in Manhattan. What a shock. These youth have a very hard time staying in regular homeless shelters, as they are targeted and attacked. So this group has started a chain of shelters for GLBT youth - and they put ten beds into church basements throughout the city.

I also really enjoyed the Worshop service that was held on the last day. The guest minister told a great story which I have re-created above for you to share with your kids and friends.

I hope that our youth group will take on a service project next year which will address poverty at some level. Such as raising awareness about ethical investments, or buying products that are from countries that use sweatshop labour.

Off to New York!

2006-04-04T19:54:00.000-04:00

I am heading off to New York City tomorrow morning at 5 am! Two adults from our church are escorting five youth to a conference at the UN called "Poverty. People. Power." We hope we will learn alot about international and local poverty issues so that we can raise awareness in our own community.

Unfortunately, I got very sick over the weekend, so I feel like crap. Here's hoping I get to sleep on the train so I have some energy when I get there. I will be back on Sunday night!

Eric is going to have to be the parent while I am away. This should be interesting.

Happenings...

2006-03-31T18:41:00.000-05:00

Thursday was teacher interviews... we only went to the boy's interviews as there was the most concern there. Zoe didn't bother booking interviews with her teachers, as they don't have time to see all of the parents, and they want to focus on the kids who are struggling. Zoe was spoken to by her grade 11 biology teacher -- remember - she is in grade 10 - and told she has the highest mark in the class! A 96! We were impressed.

Owen's marks are all over the map - somewhat low due to not finishing work. It doesn't bother me - as we have made the decision that he won't attend full-time. So if he can get a B average by attending part-time, that's ok with me.

Oliver is doing ok. Apparently he's doing really well in Geography (ie. top of the class), but the teacher doesn't want to tell him, as he fears that Oliver will then slack off. He is not doing terribly well in Science, but can pass if he does the work.

This morning I took my mom to the doctor and we did a few errands. Then we had a nice lunch at Montana's - salad with skewers of grilled salmon! The salad was full of fruits...Yummy.

I had to go to the office for a few hours this afternoon. Then we ran to pick up Owen and Dorothy at her workplace. Owen had spent the day with her as he had the day off school. We dropped Owen off at his dress rehearsal downtown and then headed home.

Tonight we are heading over to Ruth's to watch a movie. Tomorrow we are invited to a wedding for some friends of ours. A second marriage for both of them... it should be fun!

Sunday I am helping to host a youth group visiting Ottawa from Canton, NY. We visited them back in January - now they are reciprocating. We will be serving them a lunch of salad, samosas and spring rolls. It will be fun to get to know them some more.

Next week I am heading to New York City for 5 days. More later on this exciting event.

Canadian Idol Report

2006-03-28T22:11:00.000-05:00

Holley asked for an update on the Canadian Idol auditions this past weekend in Ottawa. I went with Sarah, her friend Laura and Zoe on Saturday to scope out the auditions. Sarah registered and then hunkered down to wait. I left after two hours as I had other things to do. Poor Sarah had to wait over 5 hours for her quick audition and it didn't go well, poor thing. It seemed like a giant cattle call - and there was less than 30 seconds to sing something for the people making the decisions. It didn't help that she had been fighting a cold. So she didn't get picked. Too bad... for them! We all know that Sarah is an awesome performer, as we have seen her many times with her former band, Defeats the Purpose. Meanwhile, she is making plans to join another band in the coming weeks, so I hope she isn't taking it too hard. Her sweetie pie Evan is helping her to feel better.

Breeders Beware!

2006-03-27T19:34:00.000-05:00

Dan Savage writes a weekly column on sexuality issues. This week he wrote a commentary on how US governments are regulating sexuality-related behaviours more and more, thus targeting heterosexuals, not just homosexuals. If what he is reporting is true, I found it shocking that governments are interfering with citizens lives so seriously. I have copied it in its entirety below:

Straight Rights Update: Earlier this month Republicans in South Dakota successfully banned abortion in that state. Last week the GOP-controlled state house of representatives in Missouri voted to ban state-funded family planning clinics from dispensing birth control.

"If you hand out contraception to single women," one Republican state rep told the Kansas City Star, "we're saying promiscuity is okay." On the federal level, Republicans are blocking the over-the-counter sale of emergency contraception and keeping a 100 percent effective HPV vaccine—a vaccine that will save the lives of thousands of women every year—from being made available.

The GOP's message to straight Americans: If you have sex, we want it to fuck up your lives as much as possible. No birth control, no emergency contraception, no abortion services, no life-saving vaccines. If you get pregnant, tough shit. You're going to have those babies, ladies, and you're going to make those child-support payments, gentlemen. And if you get HPV and it leads to cervical cancer, well, that's too bad. Have a nice funeral, slut.

What's it going to take to get a straight-rights movement off the ground? The GOP in Kansas is seeking to criminalize hetero heavy petting, for God's sake! Wake up and smell the freaking Holy War, breeders! The religious right hates heterosexuality just as much as it hates homosexuality. Fight back!

Interesting Weekend

2006-03-26T22:25:00.000-05:00

On Friday night, Dad made us his famous and delicious spaghetti dinner. Phil joined us later in the evening, and we ended up playing poker (with monopoly money) until about 1 am. We had a great time and the time just flew by. Pretty much everyone except Owen played, with Zoe and Dorothy taking turns for their "team".

On Saturday, we went out for Melanie's birthday dinner at a pub in the market. It was fun although the food was not too great. But it was nice to see so many people, including Dad, Phil, Dan, Jennifer, Tim, Melanie, Mom, Kim and Mark. I wasn't up to staying out late due to the night before, so we went home around 9 pm.

Today I was teaching JR OWL again with Guy. Last week we learned about contraception methods... this week we were talking about unplanned pregnancy options. We basically asked the group "What would you do if your best friend (age 14) told you that she thought she was pregnant?" This led to a really long discussion. We all agreed that at that age and for the purposes of our discussion that it would not be a good option for a 14 year old teen to become a parent, so we focused on discussing what is involved in adoption and abortion.

First we talked about the historical secrecy surrounding adoption in our society - and how it was morally wrong in the past to have sex and get pregnant and that being an unwed mother was a huge stigma. Also about how being infertile was also something that was considered shameful. We talked about how the law has recently changed (in Canada) allowing birth mothers to know who is going to raise their children and allowing for more open adoptions to take place.

When we talked about abortion we also talked about historical implications and how we have learned in the past that when you make an activity illegal it just goes underground. Many of the kids had strong views against abortion, (especially the boys) so we educated them about exactly what is involved in an abortion so that they could be more aware of what they were saying and encourage them to respectfully share their opinions without attacking others who feel differently. Overall the discussion was very good and informative.

Finally we talked abut father's rights and how things have changed for men as parents both culturally and legally in recent years. As the roles of men and women change, so should the laws which surround these issues.

Canadian Idol Auditions

2006-03-23T23:57:00.000-05:00

So finally the Canadian Idol auditions will be in Ottawa this weekend. My daughter Sarah has decided to take the plunge and go to the auditions... she is talented, but hasn't performed live for a while. She used to be the lead singer in a band for about a year, but they broke up over a year ago. It looks like her friend Laura and Zoe may go with her to keep her company while she waits in line.

Keep your fingers crossed!

2006-03-22T22:23:00.000-05:00

Watching and waiting for Spring...

Mega Court Experience

2006-03-22T22:09:00.000-05:00

One of the reasons I haven't been around is that March has turned into a court marathon. I don't usually do alot of court cases, preferring to focus on mediation. Somehow, this month I have ended up in front of a judge at least twice a week for the past few weeks. This type of work takes huge amounts of preparation and stamina.

Today was no exception. We were in court from 10 am until 1:30 pm and it was no picnic. The funniest things can happen when you are in court. For one, the opposing lawyer was throwing up on and off throughout the whole ordeal. Yes. In court. The judge asked her if we could just adjourn - but noooooo she insisted she was "alright" and kept a garbage can beside her! I kid you not.

On another day, a lawyer decided to show me lewd (aka nude) photos of my client during a private negotiation session in a small meeting room at the courthouse. I think she thought if I saw these photos, I would think less of my client. I am so dumb, though, because I told her not to show them to the judge, because I knew that this particular judge would hit the roof. I was in another case in December with this judge and porn pictures were involved and this judge was furious... I am sure that I heard the words "offensive" and "inappropriate" as she ripped that lawyer's hide wide open. When I got back to the office, Robin told me that I should have encouraged her to show them to the judge (he knew about the past incident). The bottom line is that the pictures were totally irrelevant. Sexual pictures of consenting adults are not illegal and have nothing to do with how much damn child support a guy has to pay!!!

Finally, last week we had a sad day in court. I have been representing a grandparent and other family members who just want to be able to see their grandchildren once in a while. The custodial parent won't agree (they aren't her relatives). We asked a judge to help us by giving an opinion and they basically said that maybe the grandfather might have some rights. The words were so discouraging that the family has decided not to push it and are basically giving up. The judges words were probably true... she said "it would be nice if everyone could be part of a big, happy family, but in most cases, it just isn't true." Phooey.

Sleepover Blues

2006-03-22T22:01:00.000-05:00

Poor Owen. Poor Jack. Owen was supposed to sleepover at his best friend Jack's house on the first Friday of the March Break. The problem was that Jack and his sister got really sick so it got postphoned. Then, we tried to do it on the Sunday, but by then Owen was getting sick so he had to come home after dinner. Jack was very upset by this as he had been looking forward to it for quite a while.

Fast forward one week to this past Monday, and I decided to let Owen sleep over on Monday night (as he doesn't go to school on Tuesdays anyways). He went over for dinner, and later that night (aka at bedtime) changed his mind. He seemed to be suffering from some kind of anxiety about sleeping over. This seemed weird, as he has slept over there before and we have known this family for several years. It is the first time he has slept over in the past six months due to their huge renovation project, and it was the first time he was going to get to sleep in Jack's new bedroom.

Basically Jack totally flipped out and cried/screamed for a very long time after I had come to pick Owen up. We have been trying to figure out what it was that Owen had a problem with. In fact, he had slept over during the March break at another friend's house that we don't even know very well. When I asked him why it was ok there, he said "they have a golden retriever".

I am thinking the next time we try this, I will plan to stay for the evening socializing (we do that there often anyway) and then hope that Owen will fall asleep while I am there. I am just worried that Jack can't handle the possibility that Owen won't follow through. I tried to talk to Jack about it yesterday to see if he could understand that it wasn't personal. In the light of day he does seem to get it, but at night when it happens he totally can't. *Sigh*

V FOR VENDETTA

2006-03-20T00:05:00.000-05:00

On Saturday night I got to go to see this interesting movie. Sarah had told me that it was based on a "graphic novel" (aka comic book), so honestly I did not have high expectations.

I guess I expected it to be something between Spiderman and Aeonflux, which we had seen a month or two ago. Boy was I wrong.
(WARNING: SPOILER FOLLOWS)

This movie is a very interesting look at how the world could change at some point in the near future. Great Britain has become a totalitarian state, ruled by a small group of men (no women seen at all in power), who have control over every aspect of citizen's lives. They control all of the media, they "spin" every news story and everyone must stay indoors after dark. The people have been told that this is all for their own good and so comply for the most part with the new order. During the movie, there are many scenes which are eerily reminiscent of Hitler and his secret service military.

I would say it is not appropriate for children under 13, as they probably would not understand most of it. V's character is very developed - he goes around quoting Shakespeare and other literary greats a lot of the time. This movie is somewhat like "A Handmaid's Tale" in tone, but totally different storyline.

The movie starts out with someone (a terrorist) blowing up the old Bailey on Guy Fawkes day (November 5th). (There is some history explained to the non-British viewer). The head of the police (probably the former Scotland Yard) must investigate and find the terrorist, who has threatened to blow up the Parliament Buildings in one year.

During this excitement, we meet Evey, the main female lead. Natalie Portman does a great job playing pretty much the only woman in the movie (although we see women here and there in the populace and in flashbacks.) Evey is a witness to the initial bombing and thus presumably knows who the terrorist is.

Because of this, she is a target for the police investigation. But they don't realize that "V" the code name for the terrorist, was wearing a mask during the attack so that Evey actually cannot identify him. As they track her down, V rescues her from their likely detention and torture of Evey, and he takes her home to protect her. When Evey enters his secret world, at first she believes that she is a prisoner, but then she realizes that V is actually a good person, who has good reason to fight against the government.

Meanwhile, the police investigator is discovering that the government he is working for is hiding some very serious secrets. As he puts the pieces of a huge puzzle together, he realizes that everything he has believed in for 27 years is built on a lie. He uncovers government operations that pre-date the current government coming into power, which involve the detention of anyone who is "different" (ie. gays, lesbians, Muslim or other non-Christians) and horrific medical experiments which take place in these detention centres. There is also evidence that mass experiments have been done on the population in partnership with drug companies out to make big profits.

Lots of fireworks follow as we arrive on the next November 5th. Although there is some violence and horrific flashblacks, except for one scene near the end, I did not find it too violent. Basically the bad guys get what they deserve and the people are victorious in the end. If you like movies about free speech and democracy, this is a pretty good bet.

Meditation...

2006-03-15T22:50:00.000-05:00

March Break!

2006-03-15T22:36:00.000-05:00

This week is March Break. Yes, I caved into the pressure from the kids and bought lots of junk food for them to celebrate with, including: fudgesicles, ice cream sandwiches, joe louis, etc. If you aren't Canadian you might not know what Joe Louis are??? Chocolate cake with white icing inside, and a chocolate coating on the outside. Like a wagon wheel, but cake like.

Yesterday I took the boys to visit the Comic Book Shop, where Sarah works. They had fun looking around - Owen had a hard time finding something to buy with his $5 - everything there is pretty expensive. In the end, he purchased a Naruto necklace - kind of like dog tags with cool pictures on it.

I also took the dogs for grooming yesterday - this was Oscar's first trip to the groomers. I was pretty worried about how he would act - when I clipped him before Christmas he peed on me and threw up. This time he was beautifully behaved and they loved him. Suki was also very good and friendly. And at least this time Oscar didn't look like the dog from the Simpsons... (I didn't do a very good job last time!!)

The kids don't have many plans this week - Oliver is hanging out with his friend Eric. Zoe is sleeping in a lot and watching tons of tv and movies with her sisters. Amelia has disappeared for a week with her boyfriend. Meanwhile, Dorothy and Sarah are both still working so it's a non-event for them. Owen is hoping to visit some boys who are the kids of my friend at work - we are trying to set that up still.

I wish I could take them all for a nice vacation. Oh well. It looks like I am going to NYC in April for a conference at the UN. I got a call from them today and it's pretty certain that I get to go. I will be attending as a youth advisor from our church, who is actively involved and has an office at the UN. I am pretty excited about it, but also nervous about being able to get any sleep on the trip. I tried to convince Zoe to come too, but she is not willing to miss three days of school for the trip.

Otherwise, March is passing by really fast, in a blur. It's Melanie's birthday this week - tomorrow! Happy Birthday Melanie!

touching base

2006-03-15T22:28:00.000-05:00

After several weeks with almost no computer access, I think Eric has finally fixed the two main computers at our house. So for a while I had an excuse to take a break from this blog. I don't know, but I think I have been suffering from mild depression due to winter really finally showing up. It has been very cold until this week - luckily the sun came out and warmed us up enough this week to melt a huge amount of the snow and ice around here. We can even see a bit of grass!

Meanwhile, life goes on. Eric keeps worrying about work - Nortel will never be a "safe" place to work I guess. My office is crazy! I have had literally dozens of new clients in the past few weeks - today I literally had 5 minutes between clients for about six hours in a row. This does not mean that I have tons of money - I usually do a free intake for clients and then usually they realize that their problems are more personal than legal. But some of them turn into real clients.

Sarah is thinking about auditioning for Canadian Idol, so I have been watching American Idol to get a feel for the process. (No I have never watched any of the idol shows) Like Survivor, it is a bit addictive and I have tried to keep up with the various young people on the show who make it to the next week. One of the cutest guys, "Ace" nearly got kicked off tonight - I almost cried! (just kidding) Keep an eye out for Sarah Sharp on Canadian Idol!

The Week Happened...

2006-02-19T23:00:00.000-05:00

Tuesday - final youth event planning meeting... dinner with Eric.

Wednesday - took my mom to the eye doctor, then had lunch with her...

Thursday - attended "meet the teacher" night for Oliver and Zoe...

Friday - Zoe and Oliver helped chip the car out of deep ice - then headed to courthouse to file court documents...

Saturday - spent most of the day and evening helping to coordinate another OWL weekend at our church... teaching a group of youth sex ed information.

Sunday - finally went to see Broke Back Mountain - very depressing sad movie! (but well done)

Olympic Women Show the World

2006-02-13T08:31:00.000-05:00

This year's Olympic's is spotlighting women in several ways. I thought it was amazing to see eight women carry in the Olympic flag at the opening ceremonies. What a great moment!

For the first time in history, women from different backgrounds, cultures and professions, all with strong civil commitments carried the flag together into the stadium. Eight women representing all women in the world symbolizing peace, fraternity and communication among cultures.

These women included: Sophia Loren: Italy - Actress, Goodwill Ambassador UNHCR, Cinema icon, winner of two Academy Awards, in 1960 for best actress and 1991 for her career; Isabel Allende: Chile - Writer and journalist, greatest Latin-American writer, her books are translated in over 30 languages. Founder of Isabel Allende Foundation, supporting education and protection of underprivileged women and children; Nawal El Moutawakel: Morocco - 400-meter hurdles gold medalist, Los Angeles 1984, First African Muslim woman to win an Olympic gold medal; Susan Sarandon: United States - Actress, Goodwill Ambassador, United Nations refugee agency, One of the most acclaimed actresses of the international panorama of the movie business, winner of one Academy Award (1995), liberal and pacifist; Wangari Maathai: Kenya - Environmentalist, Peace Nobel in 2004, Founder of Green Belt Movement (against the uncontrolled deforestation). Since 1977 has planted over 10 million trees in Kenya. She is Minister of Environment and Natural Resources in Kenya; Manuela Di Centa: Italy - Nordic skiing, seven gold medals, she participated in four Olympic Games, winning two gold medals, two silver medals and three bronze medals. IOC member; Maria Mutola: Mozambique - 800-meter gold medalist in Sydney 2000, the woman from Mozambique to win an Olympic gold medal; Somaly Mam: Cambodia - Human rights activist, Founder of AFESIP Acting for Women in Distressing Situations. Has been fighting for years against sexual mistreatment of the Cambodian young women.

Canada has two medals so far, both held by women. It was neat seeing Jennifer Heil win the gold for women's moguls - she was so proud to see the Canadian flag go up and she even sang the anthem!

And have you seen the women's hockey team? Wow! They are amazing. What kills me is that some people are complaining that they are getting too many goals. Apparently getting huge scores against the Italians and Russian women's teams isn't "nice". Can you imagine sports commentators saying that about men's hockey? Give me a break!

Tech update

2006-02-13T08:21:00.000-05:00

On Saturday Sarah announced she was buying a laptop. So we went to three stores, compared what they had to offer, and she ended up with a Compaq, 15 inch widescreen, which means it's actually pretty big. But she is happy to have her very own computer, which means now Amelia and Oliver are pretty much the only people sharing a computer. (I use Eric's occasionally as I leave my laptop at work)

The other technological craze at our house is in the form of ipods. Dorothy and Eric both have one, and they both seem obsessed with getting a huge collection of music on them. Personally I don't see the appeal of listening to music when on a bus or out for a walk. Maybe I should try it sometime.

We finished the 4th season of Six Feet Under. Overall we have really enjoyed this show - it is sometimes sad, frightening and disturbing. But it is also very interesting, moving and funny. You can't quite like any of the characters as they all have huge flaws, but you can't help liking them a bit because they are so imperfect. Kind of like real people, eh?

Now we are mostly watching the Olympics. Go Canada!

Face Piercings?

2006-02-13T00:02:00.000-05:00

I think last weekend I was having a bout of depression linked to the death of our friend's son. Our kids aren't so far from his age, and it hit hard. I had to keep the office going for a couple of days, but when Saturday arrived, for the first time I had a chance to actually think about it all. I was very touchy and upset all day, and when my daughter Sarah walked in around 11 pm with a FACE PIERCING I totally lost it.

This is the kid who told me a few nights earlier she was going to look for a better job. Like maybe in an office. Now the tally of her self decoration includes 3 tattoos (all in places you can't see), about 8 ear piercings, and a stud below her lip. *sigh* I have always respected her choices in the past, but this time I somehow couldn't stand what she had done.

Later on I apologized to her - yes - it's her body - yes - she is over 18 - it's her life etc... blah blah blah... but it reminded me of how I felt when Amelia quit her job a few months ago. I feel like shaking them or hitting them over the head with a metaphysical two-by-four.

They are goofing off - wandering around with no direction in their lives - whining about how crappy things are - with no initiative, no real plans - no goals. They have no idea that life is precious, a gift, and something to celebrate. At least Dorothy and Zoe have some plans, some initiative... although they tend to be more anxious/depressed than Sarah and Amelia.

I guess they are just acting like teenagers. And I guess I am acting like an old fogey. Crap.

Travelling to churches...

2006-02-11T11:09:00.000-05:00

This past week has been so sad. A friend of mine (whom I work with) lost his son last week on Thursday to cancer. The funeral was on Wednesday this past week at All Saints Westoboro Church.

Hundreds of people showed up and it was a very moving service. My friend's wife is a minister at the Anglican church (like Episcopalian I think), and the service was held at their church. She actually gave a small talk (or sermon) which was quite a mix of memories and hope for the future. My friend then got up to do a prayer, but actually read a few funny poems in his sons memory. He asked me later if that was shocking, but I told him it was just perfect and that Ian would have loved it. Ian had a great sense of humour.

The overall sadness and patheticness of our lives has been pretty blatant to me this week. As I meet new clients or talk to old ones, I just want to give them a shake and say "count your blessings". Stop complaining about who got the time share in the separation and thank God you are alive and have your health. Be here, right now. Forget the bad things from the past and move on.

Last Sunday we took some youth from our church to visit another church across the border in Canton, New York. It was really nice meeting another group and we hope they will come to visit us in Ottawa sometime soon. We had a great trip and they gave us lunch. Discussions included what kind of candy they have - they don't have caramilk or kit kats or smarties! We were thinking about bringing chocolate bars next time.

Wanted: Moral and Spiritual Support

2006-02-02T11:03:00.000-05:00

Sometimes life is just unrelenting. Two difficult situations are happening in our lives.

A close colleague of mine went with his wife and daughter-in-law this morning to the emergency. His son (in his late 20's) has been struggling with cancer for many months and now is on life support due to the complication of pneumonia. We are all trying to keep calm and keep the office running, while waiting to hear news. Please keep Ian in your thoughts and prayers.

One of our extended family members (age 22) is dealing with severe psychotic symptoms which may be the result of the onset of mental illness or extreme drug use. We aren't sure what the cause is, but at this point it doesn't really matter. She needs help. We are trying to provide as much support to her and her mom as we can.

I am thinking of going home, rounding up the kids, hugging them, and then running away with them to some warm spot to just enjoy life together.

Suki and Oscar

2006-01-30T14:41:00.000-05:00

We have worked really hard for the past week to supervise the dogs carefully. They seem to have gotten the message that we don't want them to jump over the fence, but I still don't trust them.

The official policy is: keep your eyes on them when they go out.

Weekend Update

2006-01-30T14:31:00.000-05:00

Boy the weekend just whizzed past! On Friday we went to a friend's house for dinner and to hang around. Then on Saturday, Owen and I went to pick up my nephew Bailey at Cosmic Adventures (after a birthday party) and we ended up hanging around there for a few hours of "fun". Then Bailey came back to our place for dinner and a sleepover.

Dad and Ruth came over Saturday night to play euchre and Carcosonne. It was fun - we haven't seen enough of Ruth lately. We hope to go there for dinner next weekend.

On Sunday, I taught the JR OWL program - and our topic was... you may want to skip this part... Masturbation! Yes... we really teach that at our church. We discuss it as a healthy, normal, safe alternative to having sex.

Did you know that there is research to show that if you regularly orgasm (ie. 3 times a week), your sexual health is more likely to stay good.

Anyhoooo..... then I had lunch with a friend after church. Later I went to the office to do a bit of work - then in the evening went home to make dinner. Deb showed up (Eric's ex) unexpectedly and ended up staying for dinner. I decided to make "breakfast"... so we had pancakes, bacon & eggs! Then, Eric, Deb and I went out for a beer to discuss their older daughter who does not live with us. She appears to be in crisis and may need some intervention in her life at some point soon.

When we got back, I spent almost two hours trying to get Owen to calm down after he had a disagreement with Oliver about the computer. He is certainly passionate about things and tends to overreact.

No wonder I am sooooo tired on Mondays. I need a holiday.

Dogs on the Run

2006-01-24T19:12:00.000-05:00

Some time last weekend, our crazy puppies, Suki and Oscar, learned how to jump over the fence of our backyard. Most times, they just run around for a few minutes then sit proudly at our front door. The main problem is that the snow has gotten so deep, it gives them something to run and jump from.. but even with our attempts to shovel it, I think they love their freedom so much they just climb the darn fence now.

Yesterday when I got home just before 5 pm, they had gone missing. Zoe, Oliver and Amelia were home, due to exams, and between the three of them it seemed like they had been missing for over 30 minutes. We drove and walked around the neighbourhood to no avail. After I came back (around 5:30), I checked the messages, and the vet's office had called. Some woman about six blocks away had captured the little rascals - around 3 pm. I was pretty annoyed that the kids were so vague about when they let the dogs out but was also relieved that the dogs were ok. We went over and picked them up - it was about six blocks away - luckily for us they didn't stray the other direction - 2 blocks away is a major intersection.

Now we can't let them outside without a chaperone - they are just dying to escape again. I find myself planning my day around walks for them. I guess we have been pretty lazy with the option of just letting them out. It's too bad though as they really did love our yard. (Kind of reminds me of kids, when they discover the big world and don't want to stay home anymore!)

Canada Votes!

2006-01-23T21:42:00.000-05:00

Today is Canada's 39th Election! While many of us have been anxiously waiting for this day, the results are just starting to come in (It's 9:40 pm in Ottawa), and the early results are not really bad.

Of course, it depends on which party you support. Our house is pretty much an NDP supporter - we strategically vote Liberal sometimes too. As well, we usually have one person here voting for the Green Party. This year that was Amelia -- last time it was Sarah. I am very proud of my kids for following the election. Dorothy, Sarah and Amelia have watched the debates, talked to their friends and to us about the issues. And we all voted today! Even Oliver and Zoe have been watching the reports and following the issues and participated in an all candidates meeting at their high school.

While they have wondered why they should bother voting, when it seems that the two main parties are pretty similar (lesser of two evils), I keep saying that we are incredibly lucky to have democracy in our country - and the right to vote. It is so important to honour that right and vote however you choose, whether it's for the party, the leader or your local rep.

Generally I tend to vote for the party, not the leader - and I usually focus on one issue per election. Last time, I focused on equal rights for same sex couples - and voted NDP. This time my main concern is health care, as our equal system is being threatened by leanings towards privatization of our health care system. There is no way we want to head down that road, especially with the majority of the population aging.

While the Liberals are at fault this time for the sponsorship scandal, no one can tell me that former Conservative governments didn't steal money or "sponsor" whoever the heck they wanted. The Liberals need to form the government, and the NDP need to keep them honest.

This will sure be a nail-biter.

I have to say the best coverage has been Rick Mercer and Air Farce. What a hoot!

Lawyers can be nice!

2006-01-21T11:20:00.000-05:00

I have been shocked to find out that many lawyers (especially male lawyers) are jerks. I know, this seems to be a no brainer for some, but I guess I am naive. In the past few months I have been screamed at, called names and threatened. How does a lawyer threaten another lawyer? Just as in any abusive relationship, he can threaten to report you to the Law Society, (which is a threat to your livelihood), he can threaten you with costs (which is a financial threat against your client), but most of all he can be intimidating and in your face, thus escalating the file and making the clients pay in the end, financially and emotionally.

It was thus to my joy this week that I met a really nice male lawyer who worked very hard with me to avert disaster in court and come up with a settlement agreement. He really understood what was at stake and helped set up a family to be able to hopefully solve their own problems in a healthy way. I tip my hat to him - and he restores my faith in the decency of lawyers out there.

If you ever need a lawyer, look for this type of person. Aggressive is not better. Calm lawyers work towards reaching a fair settlement - and the judges respect them more.

Update

2006-01-20T10:51:00.000-05:00

Owen was sick last night with the croup. (fever, severe coughing, bark-like cough) It was a drag. Thank goodness dad is coming over to help watch him today so I can do some errands.

more later...

Brokeback Mountain

2006-01-12T22:59:00.000-05:00

Carrie had made an interesting post about whether or not people should see this controversial movie, which portrays a sexual relationship between two cowboys. My take on her post is that it is hypocritical for Christians to complain about homosexuality as a sin and then remain silent when other sins are portrayed in movies (such as adultery). I have great respect for her views and encourage people to check it out and respectfully comment.

One of the things that I said was that I am much more concerned about violence portrayed in movies than sexuality. I think it is much more harmful for our children and for our society to glorify or minimize any kind of violence, while meanwhile condemming a film because it portrays human sexulity in all of its many variations and frailties.

When I see a movie which has any gay characters, what I am looking at is how these people are portrayed. Are they "gay" stereotypes who gush all the time, wear flamboyant clothes and speak with a lisp? Are they cross dressers or drug users? Are they promiscuous? Are they only used as secondary, comic characters? Or are they shown as integral family members who are just as much a part of the plot as the heterosexual characters?

Every gay or lesbian person I have gotten to know in my life is a normal average person who works at a grocery store, a government office, is a doctor, a teacher, a parent, a grandmother. They suffer from human weakness just like all of us do. Their sexuality is a private matter that is nobody elses business - not something that should be an issue... ever.

So I don't know if I will go to see this movie. I have several friends who are curious to go see it. I think I will read a review first and then decide. I certainly am happy to see famous actors involved in such a production which will certainly help it gain some legitimacy in the broader community.

Updates on everyone... and snow melting.

2006-01-12T21:47:00.000-05:00

We watched the first season of Six Feet Under all last week. It was so great! Of course, given the fact that the main characters run a funeral home, and every show starts with the death of some random person who ends up in their funeral home, it is certainly morbid. But mixed in with the macabre is a warm plot, several funny sub-plots and a dysfunctional family thrown in so that we can all relate to the actual characters. We liked it alot and have started the second season.

Meanwhile, Owen is going to participate in a puppet show that travels around to schools to teach kids about bullying issues.

Zoe is hard at work getting ready for exams, as are Oliver and Amelia.

Dorothy has been bitten by the Katamari bug. I got this game for Owen for Christmas, but the girls seem to like it even more than he does. The sequel game is "We love Katamari" which apparently Dorothy has just ordered.

Sarah dyed her hair this morning - it is very bright red/orange. Kind of like Wilma Flintstone.
But it looks really good, especially since her hair is pretty long now.

On Tuesday, Dorothy frantically called me just before lunch to tell me that the dogs had escaped from the yard. The snow has gotten so deep that they could jump over the fence! I rushed home and we looked for a long time. After a while, they showed up with our cat Houdini... I think he is the one who tricked them into running away! (the scoundrel) No matter how much I love dogs, cats are definitely smarter.

I had lunch with my dad yesterday which was really nice. Then he drove me downtown to the courthouse for a mini course called "This hour has 22 Judges". (Canadians will recognize the name from the show "This hour has 22 minutes" a great Comedy/News show. The workshops were ok, but the wine after was really good, so it was worth the effort of attending.

Owen went to swimming at the JCC on Tuesday for the last session. He did pretty well, not quite passing, but learned a lot in the past few months.

My business is going well, especially with the post Christmas "rush". Sad to say, many families who are already sinking have serious problems with Christmas and I ended up with many new clients this past week. It has been very busy.

Finally, the weather has been bizarre... we have had tons of snow - then a freezing spell with tons of ice - it was so slippery yesterday I slid down a hill about half a block! Today the temperature went up to 5 degrees C today (above freezing)... so now everything is melting... leaving huge puddles everywhere.

Decisions, Decisions

2006-01-05T10:11:00.000-05:00

I am trying to decide what volunteer commitments to keep or give up for the new year. Over the past year, I have spent huge numbers of hours on volunteering for our church and I joined two new committees in the past few months. There is no way I can continue on doing all of this and fit in my family and my new career.

Obviously this all has affected my blog and how often I have time to commit to blogging, let alone visiting my online friends. If only there were more hours each day. I have to bite the bullet and make some decisions.

In other news, I am going to go to the Children's Museum with my mom on Friday. We are going to take Owen and my nephew Bailey (age 6). It should be a fun day.

Mom and Dad for Christmas

2006-01-03T23:39:00.000-05:00

After reflecting on how Christmas went, one thing has struck me. This is the first time in over thirty years that my parents spent Christmas day together. It was so nice having them both there enjoying the kids and grandkids.

It has taken a long time to get my mom to accept that my dad was part of our lives again, even though he lived with me for over a year! My dad is very easy going, a real kidder and easy to get along with, while my mother still hasn't gotten over the ancient past.

Last Christmas my mom went to California to see my sister, partly to avoid haing to deal with my dad for the holidays. This year we managed to involve both of them - she spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with my sister Melanie, while Dad spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with me. Then we all went to Dan's for dinner for the big celebration.

Hopefully things will continue to improve over time and we can all live together in peace.

2006-01-01T12:49:00.000-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

~ 2006 ~

Birth Announcement

2005-12-30T01:06:00.000-05:00

My friend Holley had her second boy last week. Isn't he gorgeous??? I love new babies. They are so perfect. Wow. Yeah, I know, we have seven kids already and they are driving us nuts.

Don't worry - Eric has had the big "V" so we are ok.

Christmas Wrap Up

2005-12-30T00:44:00.000-05:00

Good things that happened in the past week...

1. We had a really nice Christmas Eve here at our place with all of the kids present (yes, all 7 of them!) and my father plus my brother Phil. We played games and watched "It's a Wonderful Life" one of my favorite Christmas movies. Eric made dinner - a taco salad - and it was really good. Later Dorothy and Zoe made chocolate chip cookies. We let everyone open one or two gifts because Eric's kids were leaving to go spend the night/next day at their moms place.

2. Christmas morning - I got up with my kids - (Eric slept all morning having stayed up all night playing his new video game!!) and we had a nice time opening gifts together. It didn't really matter that Eric wasn't there, as I am the one who had planned and purchased most of the gifts anyway. I am learning to go with the flow more and more each year.

3. Dad and Phil came back for brunch with us. It is our "tradition" (for about 6 years now) to make home made belgian waffles for Christmas day - we have them with icecream and strawberries. Yummy. I also heated up a ham to take over to Dan's house for dinner.

4. We went to Dan's house for dinner where most of our extended family had gathered. They had turkey, potatos, stuffing, carrots, turnip and salad which was all delicious. We brought the ham and some broccoli (Dorothy can't eat orange/red veggies due to allergies) and a pumpkin pie. My sister Melanie brought a home made apple pie - and my mom brought cute mini cheesecakes, both of which were to die for.

5. Boxing day - we slept in really late for the first time. That afternoon, most of us went to see the Narnia movie. It was wonderful - we loved it. Even if you haven't read the books, it is excellent. I hope they do the other ones too. I have to say that Peter looks an awful lot like a young Prince William.

6. Eric came with me to my office and we worked for at least 5 hours on my new accounting system for my law practise. Have I ever mentioned that I HATE MATH!! We took the tutorial together and were able to start entering the financial data (including billing) - we got a lot done - had a few questions - made some mistakes - but then learned how to correct mistakes... overall it was a nasty but necessary exercise. Afterwards, I took Eric out for dinner as a reward for his moral support.

7. Last night we went to visit some friends for dinner and to play Catan. Had a great time and Eric won! (he doesn't win very often) We brought Suki and she was well behaved. It is so nice having an adult dog who other people can enjoy. The other dog (who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) is still behaving quite badly. Besides chewing everything, he has taken to barking in the middle of the night - usually because one of the cats has walked by. It is very annoying.

8. Today was my official day to be at the office. We decided to open for three days this week with "reduced" hours. The problem is that the people who called wanted action and they weren't my clients so they were quite annoyed when I couldn't help them. I was little more than an answering machine which did not solve their problems. Next year I would recommend that we just close the office for the week. I did get some stuff done including seeing two clients which is usually nice and was nice today.

Tomorrow I am trying to get an annoying errand done. Eric and I have to go downtown to apply for new health cards for both Owen and Oliver. My problem is that I can't find Owen's birth certificate. I know I have it, I just don't know where. I am sure it is some place safe....???

Oh well... and I forgot to mention that Eric and I have been watching Season 4 of 24. It is pretty good so far. We love this show.

Christmas with Exes

2005-12-22T16:01:00.000-05:00

Our holidays are so much fun. First of all, Eric and I have to deal with our own exes, in terms of sorting out who has the kids on what days.

We also have to deal with our own parents marital issues. For example, this will be the first Christmas dinner that my parents have spent together for over 30 years... everyone is anxious about how that will go. Eric's parents have new partners and there is tension involved with them too.

Now we have to deal with Eric's ex's ex. To clarify, Eric's ex-wife broke up with her partner a few months ago and now her ex is trying to involve us in their ongoing dispute (which partly involves Christmas). GRRRRRR.

Next year we are leaving town. (Kids optional)

This world is too darn complicated.

Christmas Countdown...

2005-12-19T13:42:00.000-05:00

OK, so there are 5 1/2 shopping days until Christmas, are you ready?

I am NOT. Every night I have been wrapping a few gifts and I did pick up a couple of things over the weekend. But, I don't even have Zoe's list yet.

I usually love Christmas shopping - finding just the right gift for each person, something that they will love or at least appreciate. This year I have been so busy I am not finding any joy in it.

After a big snow storm hit us on Friday (almost 10 inches of snow) we all stayed home and had a "snow day". I told the kids they could stay home as long as they shoveled the driveway by dinner. Amelia, Zoe, Oliver and Owen spent about an hour out there. They did such a good job that I gave them each $10 (x 4 kids).

Holiday plans are slowly unkinking... so far plans include:
Monday - shopping
Tuesday - Eric's birthday party
Wednesday - going out with friends for dinner
Thursday - Christmas Carol party at friends
Friday - relaxing at home??? (last minute shopping)
Saturday - getting food ready for Sunday so I won't have to cook on Sunday!
Christmas Day - my kids with us
Boxing Day - Eric's kids with us

Funny or Sad?

2005-12-17T12:07:00.000-05:00

5 things most people don't know about me...

2005-12-17T11:30:00.000-05:00

I have been tagged by Ms. L... to share 5 things that most people don't know about me. This is really tough. Most people know that I am a parent of 4 children, step-parent to three. They know that I teach sex education to youth at the Unitarian church. They also know that I recently became a lawyer after being a social worker for about 15 years. But they don't know that...

1. When I was about 10 - 13 years old, our family was a gospel singing group called "The New Bethany Singers" - we travelled around Ontario, Quebec and New York state singing at churches and festivals. We all played musical instruments - I played the drums!

2. I love singing and acting, but am too shy to do it in public. The thing I like most about church is singing. If I had time, I would join the choir. I guess I get some gratification through my kids, who are involved in musical theatre.

3. I am part of a huge extended family. My parents had 4 kids, then split up. Then my dad remarried and had 4 more kids. I am the first one who moved to Ottawa back in 1982. Slowly most of my huge family ended up here. Now, both of my parents live here, as well as my sisters Kim and Melanie, as well as my brothers Phil and Dan. My sister Dana used to live here, but moved a few years ago to California. There are now 10 grandchildren. When we get together it's very crowded!

4. I love horse back riding. I hardly ever get to do it, but I try to at least once a year. It is just so expensive. When I was a teen, I got to spend two summers on a ranch. It was wonderful. I always wanted to own a ranch or farm and have my own horse. Oh well. I don't think that will actually happen, but I continue to admire horses greatly. One of my favorite movies is Hidalgo.

5. I won an award for a paper that I wrote in 2000 - from the Canadian Department of Justice, for my paper on mediation and children. This was before I went to law school. If you want to see it, look here. I also wrote a non-fiction book in 1990-91 called Caring About Families. It is mentioned on this website.

I would like to tag: Holley, Andrea, Kim, Terri and Scott.
If anyone else wants to play, join in - and leave a comment so I can check out your answers!

Big day in court!

2005-12-15T23:22:00.000-05:00

Yeah... that's me... I am now offficially a "real" litigator. I was in court yesterday, presenting my first real motion. For those of you who don't know "legalese", a motion is when you make an argument in front of a judge -- generally you are asking for relief or help from the judge, like requesting a court order. Next the other side gets to make their argument, then the judge makes a decision. Ideally, they make an order in your favour.

It was soooo nerve wracking. I had a bit of a panic attack on Monday night, but several experienced lawyers talked me through it and after working hard on Tuesday preparing for the motion, I felt pretty good on Wednesday morning as I went into court.

In the end, I won! Not only did we get the orders we were asking for, we also won "costs", which means that the other side has to pay me a hefty amount of money, 'cause they were being darn unreasonable about the issue at hand. I can't mention what it was about, but it is the first real step in a case which looks like it will last for one or two years. And did I mention that we won? Yay!

JR OWL Overnight

2005-12-10T23:19:00.000-05:00

Tonight we had a Junior Owl overnight program. We covered relationship skills including consent, decision making and peer pressure. Then the group had a fun filled evening of games, movies, pizza and playing sardines in the church.

Thankfully, three other leaders offered to stay overnight and I came home to get some sleep. I am returning in the morning to do a pancake breakfast for them all.

New Star Holiday Gala

2005-12-10T23:12:00.000-05:00

Today Owen and Zoe performed in a Holiday Gala. The first half of the show was full of Broadway hits, such as "Anything You Can D0" from Annie Get Your Gun, "I just can't wait to be King" from the Lion King and "Oom Pa Pa" from Oliver. The second act was mostly Christmas songs, with one Hannukah song. My sister Melanie and my mother also performed.

Overall, a nice show.

Real or Fake?

2005-12-08T09:25:00.000-05:00

The kids have started to ask when we are getting a tree. For over twenty years, I have insisted on a real tree - I love the smell and the look of real trees.

In recent years, the kids aren't so excited about going to get the tree, let alone decorating it. Last year I had to beg people to help. So this year we are having ongoing discussions and negotiations about whether we should give up and get a fake tree.

When I was young, we had a fake Christmas tree. After my parents split up, my mother always insisted on getting a real tree, so maybe it was my dad who liked fake ones. Or maybe they were just a fad in the 1960s. Usually we didn't get our tree until very close to Christmas day, and we would keep it up until all of the needles fell off. One time, we had our tree up until the beginning of March!

My husband's family always had a fake tree, which they set up every December 2nd, which was his brother's birthday. They took it down right after New Year's. I never really liked their tree - it seemed very fake and flashy.

One of my sisters has a modern fibre optics tree with the lights built right into the tree. While very spacey and cool, it just does not feel like a Christmas tree.

We have always gotten a real tree, sometimes from tree farms, sometimes from local lots, often from lots where charities were fundraising. We have even tried to get trees from IKEA, as they sell them for $15 and give the money to local charities -- but usually they sell out on one weekend and we rarely make it in time.

What do you think? Real tree or Fake tree?

'tis the season to be jolly?

2005-12-07T23:26:00.000-05:00

what a week... and it's only Wednesday...

Sunday... was supervising youth group - we started planning the youth conference our church will be hosting in May... lots of fun... great group of youth...

Monday...
- I have no idea what I did that day... my mind is blank... I know that I was still sick after almost a week... maybe I just fell asleep.?? nah. I don't think so.

Tuesday...
-visiting
-took Sarah shopping for winter boots for her birthday to the biggest mall around... several hours later we got to go home...

Wednesday...
-hung around court for the morning trying to solve a problem for someone...
-took Zoe shopping for a "nice" outfit for the Holiday Gala this weekend... several hours later she finally finds something she can live with...

In the next few days, I hope to figure out gifts for a few people. Also, we are planning to take my mom with us (Owen, Zoe, Eric and I) to see the new Narnia movie next week.

Zoe and Owen are performing this Saturday in a theater production - a broadway revue with some Christmas songs thrown in.

Also, there is a youth sleepover this Saturday night. I am not actually sleeping over, just making sure they have dinner, and pancakes for Sunday breakfast.

Beware of Words: they can come back to haunt you

2005-12-03T14:59:00.000-05:00

OK, so twice in the past 24 hours my own words/comments to others have gotten me into a bit of trouble. You never know where your words may end up... kind of like in the telephone game... where something you say gets passed along and changes in meaning along the way.

In one case, it was something that I said on more than one occasion about someone that I know. ie. "Betty has a history of suicidal thoughts. This is how you can deal with people who are suicidal". It is not like I put an ad in the paper, I just mentioned it to close friends and family members, in order to help them deal with Betty. In the other case, it was something that I said in an email to a close friend about a person at our church that is on a committee with us. "Cindy is upset about X".

In neither case was the comment mean or hurtful, just an observation about what is going on with someone. Anyway, I ended up having to explain myself (as did Eric actually) to try to smooth things over.

Wise up. Wear it. Where's Yours?

2005-12-01T09:45:00.000-05:00

Don't forget... today is World Aid's Day. Light a candle for all those who are suffering with this disease. Especially remember all of the millions of children in Africa who have lost their parents and now have to survive on their own. Let your politicians know that the west must take action to deal with this epidemic in Africa. It's the right thing to do.

Losing a Friend...

2005-11-30T23:54:00.000-05:00

Zoe, Sarah and I went to see the new RENT movie on Monday night. Having seen it live twice (including once on Broadway) I wasn't sure if the movie could live up to the stage show.

It did.

What an absolutely amazing movie/show. If you want to hear great music, this is the movie of the year. Warning: you have to be open minded, non-judgmental and have a warm heart to appreciate this movie.

In case you don't know about RENT, the plot starts in Greenwich Village in New York City on Christmas Eve of 1989. The story focuses on the lives of a group of friends who live in abandoned warehouses that may be torn down. We see poverty in their lives and in the lives of the many homeless people in the movie. As the story unfolds, we find out about how HIV has hit the Bohemian community. This story raises awareness about HIV and AIDS, and tells a largely untold story about how various people have contracted HIV. For example, the story shows how women have become infected and how they may infect their heterosexual partners. Some of the characters have gotten HIV because of the use of drugs and their story is told from a perspective of loss and desperation.

One of the most moving scenes is during one song where they are showing the "Life Support" group meeting... and it flashes to various other scenes which show summer passing... with the song "Another Day" playing... (here are some of the lyrics)

I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only goal is just
To be
There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today...

I think the film meant even more to me this week as I have a friend who is going through the agony of losing one of his children. His son, who is in his twenties, has cancer and there appears to be no hope of recovery at this point. I feel so sad for all of them... I cannot imagine how my kids would survive the loss of one of their siblings. Life is sometimes so hard, so painful, it is just awful being powerless to help. As one of my co-workers said today "I guess all we can do now is pray." My prayer tonight is that this beautiful person doesn't suffer any more. And that his family has the strength to survive this ordeal.

What's New?

2005-11-30T23:18:00.000-05:00

Apologies all around... I have been recovering from a crazy youth conference over the weekend and a severe cold. I am still incredibly tired and trying to regain some energy for all that calls my attention. We had a wonderful weekend teaching sexuality education to about 35 youth, holding our first graduation for 9 youth who have completed all 4 sections of the curriculum.

So... what's new?

This week we had a strange weather occurrence here. After having a couple of weeks of -5 degrees (Celsius) and a good start to a snowy winter, the temperature rose to 15 degrees yesterday. Everything melted, we had two days of rain, and now the temperature is going back down again. It was very strange, but kind of nice - a repreive against winter's blast.

Sarah has gotten her old job back and started back to work yesterday. Dorothy's employer missed her so much while she was gone that she got a hefty raise. Meanwhile Zoe and Owen are in dress rehearsals for their Holiday Gala, which will be on Dec. 10th.

Yesterday I spent alot of time with my Dad as we were transfering the ownership of my friend's van to him. The plan is that we will have access to it when we need it. Meanwhile, our car was in the shop today with a poor prognosis. We are basically in the "drive it into the ground" phase.

On Friday, Owen passed his swimming level 3 (he used to be in level 6, but they changed the designations to less levels...all very confusing). Now he continues in level 4 at the JCC.

Oliver is making greater efforts at his homework and is focusing on earning money.

I was asked to attend an interesting meeting at another church tonight where they are dealing with a woman who has been in sanctuary at their church for several months.

More OWL...

2005-11-23T14:48:00.000-05:00

This weekend I am helping to coordinate another SR OWL weekend. 30 - 40 youth will meet at our church for three days to learn about human sexuality and relationships. We divide them into small groups for the weekend, and they participate in about 9 workshops over Friday and Saturday.

I am a team leader, so I coordinate our team, which will be one of the small groups. Our team is doing workshops on:
- Gender Equality (male/female power)
- Choosing whether to have kids, Adopting children
- New Reproductive Technologies (Ethical problems)
- Sexual relationships - (looking at the range of sexual relationships through life)
- Gay Pride Parade (how to provide support - be an ally to friends)
- Masturbation Myths (frank discussion about masturbation as a sexual option)
- Safe Sex Fantasies (guidance on using fantasies in a safe way)

Plus there are whole group sessions on consent, and age differences in dating.

This represents about 1/4 of the curriculum. Each time youth participate, they do 25%.

Damn Good Advice

2005-11-22T22:08:00.000-05:00

Here is a gorgeous picture from Nina's site.

Holley has challenged some people, including me, to share words of wisdom with the world.

Here are some things I have learned in the past few years:

1. NEVER try to discipline a teen step-daughter. If she pisses you off, tell her dad and make him deal with it.

2. Never cook alone. Not only do you deprive yourself of company and shared time together, cooking together can provide an opportunity to teach and learn cooking skills.

3. When organizing a party around holiday time, do not make an assumption that people in your neighbourhood, at your office, etc. celebrate Christmas. Call it a "Holiday Party", not a "Christmas Party". (I made this mistake recently and just barely avoided hurting someone's feelings)

4. If you make a mistake as a parent, don't forget to apologize to your children. It will show them that you are human, it's ok to make mistakes as long as you try to fix them. It will also teach them about forgiveness.

5. Take time for yourself every day, even if it is just 15 minutes of "time out" for yourself. If you look after yourself, you will have the strength to help others when they need you.

If anyone else wants to share their words of wisdom, let me know and I will check it out!

Harry Potter - WOW!

2005-11-21T22:50:00.000-05:00

We went to see Harry Potter tonight... wow! It was great. We all loved it. It is interesting to see how Harry, Ron and Hermione's relationships are progressing over the years. I always figured that Harry and Hermione should be together, not Ron and Hermione. Oh well.

Otherwise, the animation was spectacular, the story exciting, scary and sad too. I almost cried when Cedric died. I read the book quite a long time ago and had forgotten alot of it. I have not read the fifth book yet, and I think I will wait until next summer so it is fresh in my mind before the movie comes out.

I think this was the best one yet. Very dark and interesting storyline. The International Quidditch Cup is really amazing as well as the underwater scenes. There is plenty of humour, including at the dance. Snape and Malfoy really have almost no lines in this movie, while Hagrid is a great friend as always.

At the end, Zoe said - boy - they didn't go to school much that year! I wish my school was as exciting as that.

Report Cards Revisited...

2005-11-20T14:44:00.000-05:00

We finally caught up with Amelia last night. She has been really busy this weekend taking a life drawing course at the local college. We got to see her report card and boy were we pleasantly surprised. She is in three grade 12 courses, and they are not exactly basket weaving courses. She got 80, 84 and 90!! YAY AMELIA!!

We were a bit worried as she hasn't been going to school very much, but at age 18, we are taking a "hands off" / "its your life" approach. As well, this is the girl who barely passed grade 9 (and failed one course that year)...it gives us great hope for her future, as well as Oliver's.

what does everyone want to see?

2005-11-19T21:00:00.000-05:00

harrypotterharrypotterharrypotterharrypotterharrypotterharrypotterharrypotterharrypotter

Hover Car... a new invention?

2005-11-19T20:55:00.000-05:00

So Oliver had an invention project for his technology class. He decided to do a "hover car" and wrote up a description about it. I asked him how it differed from a "hovercraft". He said "What's that?" I said, you might want to look up what that is, so you can see how your idea is different or new.

Finally we goodled hovercraft and after he saw what a hovercraft is/does, he said - "Crap. Now I have to think of another invention.:" Poor guy.

2005-11-18T20:12:00.000-05:00

I got another message today from Dorothy today... apparently yesterday, she and Sarah went to L'Arch de Triomphe, the Eiffel tower and Les Champs Elysees. They also went to a cafe where they ate croissants and drank orangina. It sounds like they are having fun, shopping, walking around and meeting people.

REPORT CARD DOOM...

2005-11-18T19:42:00.000-05:00

Today was report card day for our high school students. The results were predictable, with Zoe getting: 80, 80, 90 and 96 (in science!). Poor Oliver, not only failed French, he got 50 (just passing) in Art, one of his favorite subjects. What was really frustrating is that his teacher explained to us that the only reason he has a lousy mark is that he has consistently handed in incomplete work, and on one occassion did not hand in the project at all. We read him the "riot act" and he is officially grounded for at least this weekend... We also said he is attending the homework support programs available every day until further notice. I should note that he did get an 83 in technology, which brought his overall average up.

Still waiting for Amelia's results... she is conspicuously absent tonight. HMMMMMM?????

Joint Custody, best for most children...

2005-11-18T19:20:00.000-05:00

I had a great morning in court yesterday. My client and his ex-girlfriend were able to come to an agreement about the custody of their child. This meant that we could bring a consent order to the judge... which gave them joint custody of their boy. I really think that the key to any success is to very gently and respectfully explain to both sides the law, the options and how to peaceably solve the problem. Once they know the basics and aren't afraid of what might happen, they calm down and are able to think clearly. I was very proud of these two people and how they made the decision to face the future together as joint parents of their sweet little boy... even though they have separate lives now.

Bonjour la belle Paris!

2005-11-16T21:08:00.000-05:00

Dorothy and Sarah called last night to let me know they made it to Paris. They are staying at one of Dorothy's friend's home. After travelling about 12 hours each. I was trying to draw a picture for Owen to explain how they were both flying half way around the world to London where they would meet. It's very confusing explaining the time changes and the actual flight time... and keeping it all straight!

It will be interesting to hear about their adventure when they come back in two weeks. Wish I was there. Oh to be young and free!

Swimming Adventures...

2005-11-16T19:12:00.000-05:00

So yesterday we went for a second week to the JCC for swimming on Tuesday afternoons. Last week, Owen was upset after the teacher took him aside and asked him not to talk while she was giving instructions. The poor boy denied it - no way, he would never talk while the teacher was talking!! (my kids don't take criticism much) So I challenged him to show her this week that it was all a misunderstanding... that he is a perfect child in fact.

Apparently the teacher wanted them all to dive to the bottom of the pool to retrieve something, then swim the length of the pool pushing something else. As an aside, she mentioned that there was a tile missing from the floor of the pool and to watch out for it.

Owen freaked out and decided that the bottom of the pool was going to rise up and attack him, slicing his foot off. I went to explain to the teacher why he was upset and she patiently explained to him how the missing tile was about 1 inch by 1 inch, and that there was smooth cement under it, so no sharp edges. Even so, she could see he was genuinely panicking, so she swam with him to the other end of the pool and then showed him exactly where the tile was missing.

Silly boy. And yes, I forgot my bathing suit again. Darn. I really need to remember next week.

Starsky and Hutch Anyone?

2005-11-15T19:17:00.000-05:00

My friend Darby has been working on a huge project for the last six months or more. She has been writing fanfiction about Starsky and Hutch and developing a website to promote it. Not only has she written short stories, she has written a whole novel, which I read during the summer. It has a great crime drama storyline and was great fun reading. Check it out!

2005-11-11T08:44:00.000-05:00

Today is remembrance day in Canada, the day we honour veterans from all past wars. All government offices are closed, Banks and the courthouse are closed too.

The schools are open, and they all have special remembrance day activities, which usually include guests from different veterans groups.

There is a huge ceremony that takes place at the main war memorial downtown to which many dignitaries and vets attend. Apparently this is the first year that we don't have representatives from WWI, as their average age is now 103. The focus this year is mostly on WWII vets and a bit of attention is being given to the Korean War vets.

This year, the Canadian government organized a train to go across Canada to pick up veterans and bring them to Ottawa for this year's Remembrance Day ceremonies. They arrived in Ottawa yesterday.

One of the most interesting new museums in Ottawa that opened this year is the Canadian War Museum. You have to remember that I am a peace activist and totally against war. But I loved this museum. It really showed the truth about war - especially in the art gallery. There were hundreds of paintings and sculptures depicting the horror and loss of war.

2005-11-11T08:26:00.000-05:00

This week has been very busy, which seems to be the "normal" around here these days. I am still in search of balance in my life, but it seems to be on vacation.

Earlier this week I was at the courthouse to file some documents and I ran into an old friend from law school. Another "mature" student, she decided to stay another year at school to do her masters, and now is articling. It was great seeing her - but we didn't have much time as we were both busy with deadlines.

Interestingly, I have two cases right now which involve grandparents and custody/access rights. So I will be able to use the same research for both cases. In Ontario, anyone can bring an application for custody or access for a child that they have a connection to. This connection does not have to be blood, it can be a step-parent or aunt or anyone who has in the past provided care to a child.

Also I got another new immigration case yesterday so it will give me more experience in an area of immigration that I didn't know as much about.

The good thing is that I am still taking one day off each week to spend with Owen. We are switching our special day from Friday to Tuesday but it will take us a few weeks to do this.
On Tuesdays, Owen and I have started going to the JCC for swimming in the afternoons with our friends Darby and her kids. We really like that pool better - it's nice than Dovercourt. Owen had a bit of a confrontation with the new teacher, though - he was not listening when she was giving instructions so she pointed it out to him and he got angry. He does not take criticism well. He informed me that he was never coming back. I told him that actually, he was and that if the teacher made a mistake about him, then he would come back next week and prove it by his behaviour!

Meanwhile, Dorothy is getting packed for her big trip to Europe. She will leave on Monday, flying overnight to London to meet Sarah. Then they will fly together to Paris for a week, returning to London for the second week. It looks like Dorothy has organized what they will be doing while over there. Hopefully things will have calmed down in Paris by the time they arrive.

Zoe had a big test in her science class this week - and informed me last night that she got 100%! Wow. What a brain. She and I are planning to go to see the movie "Rent" when it comes out in the next week or two. We have both seen the play and it was fantastic. If you haven't seen it, go see the movie - it is worth it, just for the music.

Of course there are other big movies coming out - Harry Potter and of course the Narnia movie. We are planning on seeing both of these too at some point. But I think this time I may wait so it's not so crowded at the Harry Potter movie.